


The Butterfly Who Lost It's Wings

by BtsSugaTrash



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Aphonia, Blood, Blood and Injury, Butterfly Effect, Chaos Theory, Fate & Destiny, M/M, Muteness, Orphan Eren Yeager, Professors, Psychology, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-20 15:35:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BtsSugaTrash/pseuds/BtsSugaTrash
Summary: The butterfly effect causes ripples that can't seem to be undone, like how Eren ended up mute. At the age of twelve. Yeah. Eren is done with the stupid butterfly effect, but apparently it's not done with him, especially not after throwing a new hot psychology professor his way.





	The Butterfly Who Lost It's Wings

**Author's Note:**

> I'm mixing in a few tropes with this one, so buckle up! Let me know what you think!

Once, he did a project on the Butterfly Effect for a school project. It was only a theory, an extension of the Chaos Theory, one that said even the smallest of changes could evolve into an extraordinary result. Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas? It was a wild concept, and it was merely a theory, but theories are all based on some logic and reasonable thought.

 

It’s the average days, the unnoteworthy days, the calm days that become the ones to shape the rest of our lives, that become the flap of wings. There is no predicting the future, no knowing when a life altering event will happen. One day, life will change for better or worse, fate plays its role in the grand scheme of life and everything is turned upside down. Life is beyond one’s control.

 

It was a lesson everyone had heard, but not many learned. Eren Jaeger was of the unlucky minority to learn this lesson the hard way.

 

“-and then Thomas passed to me, and I totally scored the winning goal! Did you see coach’s face? Oh man, that was awesome! Right mom?”

 

His mom smiled back at him, eyes lighting up with amusement at her son’s enthusiasm. “I did see, you did amazing Eren.”

 

All toothy grin, Eren scratched at the side of his nose. “Well, yeah, I know…”

 

And so went the car ride home from his soccer game. It had been the first game of the season, so it was an exciting one to say the least. In all his school years of playing, Eren had never tired of the sport. It was everything to him, and his mom stood there in support at every game. He really loved his mom.

 

Minutes from home, Eren was still talking up a storm, but his mom still continued to nod and hum along. At one point, Eren held up his medal that weighed around his neck. “Coach gave me his old medal. He said it was always his good luck charm, so he would let me borrow it this season as long as I played my best at every game. See?”

 

His mom dutifully glanced over when prompted and gave an appreciative “oohhh” at the medal Eren proudly held up. All of a sudden, the world began to move in slow motion. It wasn’t until his mom screamed that Eren even realised anything was wrong, but it was far too late by then. As soon as he heard the terrified yell, Eren snapped his head up just in time to see a set of blinding headlights right outside the drivers side of the car before he was thrown into the side of the car. The seatbelt around him tightened as he let out an echo of a pained yell before the world went black in a roar of crunching metal and screeching tires.

 

It must have been only seconds, his eyes hardly closing, his brain hardly forgoing consciousness before he was opening his eyes again. He felt confused, opening his eyes to see dark smoke, his eyes squinting against the tears that welled at the corners. The smoke filled his lungs, burned his throat as he began to weakly cough, wincing at a shot of pain in his neck. What… was happening?

 

Regaining a semblance of clarity, Eren lifted his hand to rub at his burning eyes only to find that he couldn’t move his arm, couldn’t move either of them in fact. Moving to look down, he cried out in sudden, searing pain that engulfed his neck, shooting all the way down his side. Okay, bad idea.

 

Before Eren could even question the pain, the smoke cleared just slightly to his left and he saw an incredulous view. The world was upside down. Wait. As he looked closer, he saw the bent, shattered remains of a windshield, jagged glass edges lining the twisted frame. He was in a car, and it was flipped. He’d only just remembered what happened before he was flinging his head to the side, unbearable pain be damned, he had to see if his mom was okay.

 

But hindsight is 20/20, because looking back now, he wished he never would have looked, because the sight that met his twelve year old eyes was a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

 

His heart dropped and all air in him was stolen as his eyes widened in pure disbelief. His mother, thrown forward through the broken windshield, eyes wide open and staring with a dead glaze ahead, blood pouring out of her nose and mouth. Eren felt his throat close as his eyes caught sight of the sheer amount of thick, red blood that pooled from his mom’s stomach, dripping over to where he sat dangled upside down. A rogue piece of metal, maybe from the other car, sat imbedded in her side, close to severing her in half.

 

The smell hit him full force, metallic, meaty, just disgusting. He felt something warm gathering in his throat as tears ran freely from his eyes. It almost felt like he couldn’t quite understand what he was seeing. It look him a breathless minute, staring at the widening blood pool, before he finally let out an agonised scream. Only it wouldn’t come out. His breathing became ragged, wheezing. Choked, gurgled groans filled the car and he only barely registered those noises coming from himself from how inhuman they sounded. The last thing he remembered was feeling something warm and thick running from his neck up to his ears and watching his mothers lifeless face before everything faded to black nothingness.

 

Those average days, the days you start your season of soccer, the days you could have just forgotten about completely. Those are the days that change the course of your life, that fate plays into the equation and your future is completely changed. Life was a butterfly effect, full of little things that made a great impact. 

 

Life was a butterfly effect, and fate was determined to make sure you couldn’t control it.

 

* * *

 

The sound of a steady, monotonous beeping was the first indication that he was waking up. His mind slowly dragged its way into consciousness, groggily clearing the thick haze that had settled over his mind. Finally, he forced his eyes to open, just a crack, to see a blinding light that forced him to shut his eyes again. He felt a pained hiss reach his lips, but heard nothing. Wincing, he slowly forced his eyes against the blinding light to open and look around.

 

Blearily at first, he saw only a blur of white. After blinking several times, his vision cleared to show white walls with generic wall hangings, a black tv in the corner, fake plastic plants sitting by the window, a bedside table with an old magazine, and white sheets covering him in a white hospital bed. If he couldn’t tell from the room that he was in the hospital, he could surely tell from the antiseptic smell that overwhelmed the place. 

 

He lifted up his arms to see them bare, scattered with minor cuts, bruises, and abrasions. He reached up to feel his face, which felt the same as his arms looked. It was when his fingers trailed down to his neck that he found the source of the pain he knew was there but had yet to feel. His fingers met with thick bandages and wrappings, circled around his entire neck, the gauze becoming thick right around his jugular. 

 

He must have been on a lot of pain meds. From the moment he woke up he could feel that his body was in pain, that somewhere on him there was a terrible injury, but he hadn’t been able to tell where or actually feel any pain. It was a strange sensation, but was shoved to the back of his mind when he realized he had no idea how he got such an injury.

 

Just then, the door was clicked open and what Eren assumed was a nurse stepped in. He looked at Eren in surprise before he gave his best professional smile. “Mr. Jaeger, you’re awake! That’s wonderful. If you’ll give me just a few moments to check your vitals, I can page the doctor for you.”

 

Thinking better than to nod, Eren opened his mouth to respond. But nothing came out. Frowning to himself slightly, he tried again, with only a puff of air rushing past his lips. 

 

“Ah,” the nurse looked over at Eren worriedly. “Maybe I’ll grab the doctor first, alright? I’ll page them for you.”

 

Nodding slightly, ignoring the twinge of underlying pain, Eren watched the man pull out something and begin typing on it quickly before shoving it back in his scrubs pocket. Looking back up at him, the nurse approached and started making one way small talk while he took his vitals. Honestly, the man was comforting, but it did little to nothing to ease the building dread feeling that had manifested.

 

Why was he in the hospital? Why couldn’t he talk? Why couldn’t he remember anything? And where were his parents?

 

Before entertaining anymore of his thoughts, the door opened once again to reveal a woman in a long white coat, brown hair frayed from its ponytail, square glasses slightly askew, and a stethoscope looking like it just might be choking her. The assumed doctor smiled widely and strutted over, holding a hand out to Eren to shake while she loudly exclaimed, “Eren right? Nice to meet you! I’m Doctor Zoe, but feel free to call me Hanji, or really anything. I’ll probably answer.”

 

Reaching out tentatively, Eren grabbed the eccentric doctors hand while she absentmindedly shook it while going on about something to do with the German meaning of Jaeger. Finally, after a few minutes, the nurse from before politely stepped in with a smile. “Doctor, you were going to brief Mr. Jaeger and check over his throat?”

 

Apparently that was enough to cure the doctor of her ramblings because she pulled away with an, “Oh yes!” before getting the vital signs from the nurse. The nurse was dismissed but said he would stay, “Just in case” he announced with a subtle look over to Eren who was definitely grateful. 

 

After looking over his vitals among other papers she’d found hanging on the end of his bed, Doctor Zoe came over and began to unravel the white wrapping around his neck, carefully removing the bandages and gauze from around the apparent wound on his neck. While examining his neck and applying some kind of ointment to his skin, Hanji bagan to talk once more, this time on topic.

 

“You’re lucky, although you might not think so once I tell you what’s wrong. Tell me Eren, do you remember anything at all? One blink for yes, two for no.”

 

He blinked twice.

 

“Right. Well, two nights ago, you were in a car accident on Highway 95. A car came out of nowhere apparently and your car was flipped. Are you remembering anything yet?”

 

Two blinks.

 

“You escaped with a few minor scratches and a pretty bad concussion, but the worst was the fact that your throat completely collapsed. Your breathing was obstructed and the only thing EMT’s could do at the time to keep you alive was to perform an emergency tracheostomy, meaning they had to put a little hole in your throat to make sure you could breath. It’s rare to be done outside of a surgical setting, but sometimes, such as in your case, it’s necessary.”

 

Sighing, Hanji leaned back and began to rebandage and wrap Eren’s neck while he, just a 12 year old, sat in mortification. All that happened and he didn’t even remember? Actually, maybe he did remember something. It felt like there was something, like an itch at the back of his mind, trying to push him into remembering. It felt like muffled screaming that he just couldn’t quite hear. Yet.

 

“Well, when you got here that night, I had to perform emergency surgery on you and basically reconstruct your poor windpipe. The thing was like shattered! Anyways, I knew that the emergency tracheostomy held a lot of risks, one being… aphonia.”

 

Confused, Eren could only blink up at Doctor Zoe face that suddenly looked far too serious. What the hell was aphonia?

 

Looking down for a moment, she paused for only a few seconds before looking back up and meeting Eren’s gaze. “In other words, muteness. The inability to produce sound.”

 

Oh.

 

Oh. 

 

Eren could only look back with his mouth agape. She was kidding right? He would be able to talk again. He would get all healed, Doctor Zoe would fix him, right? He couldn’t just never be able to talk again. 

 

Right?

 

“I’m sorry Eren, I-”

 

It was when he saw his vision blur from the tears in his eyes, felt one stray tear fall and roll down his face that the thought niggling at the back of his mind rang clear. It was as if a switch was flipped. Suddenly in pure panic, aphonia all but forgotten, Eren bolted up and ignored the doctor and nurses protests as well as his own emerging pain. He reached to his bedside table and hurriedly grabbed the pen and notepad lying there, scribbling out his chicken scratch quickly before holding it up for the medical professionals to read.

 

_ ‘What about Mom?’ _

 

The image of her bloody face now filled his head. Her body, torn and broken, eyes open but glazed and dead. She was in the car too. How was she? She must be in the hospital too. She must have needed surgery. He had to go see her. She would know what to do about his sudden inability to talk. She always knew just what to do and say to make him feel better.

 

Frowning at the odd looks he was sent by the two, he pulled his note back and scribbled out another message. 

 

_ ‘Can I go see her?’ _

 

When he held this one up, the two exchanged glances with an expression Eren just couldn’t read. If he had to say now, he would have to say it was a mixture of heartbreak and pity, but that was a look 12 year old him had never seen.

 

Doctor Zoe let out a heavy sigh and leaned forward, grabbing Eren’s hands in hers. That same look adorning her face, the ball of dread dropping to his stomach just at her expression. Whatever she was about to say, he had a really bad feeling about. Opening her mouth, finally she spoke in a somber, quiet tone.

 

“Wake up Eren! We’re late!!”

 

Bolting straight up out of bed, Eren hardly had time to open his eyes before something was thrown right at his face. Scrambling, still in a panic from his dream and being to abruptly woken up, he somehow ended up sprawled out on the floor with a huff. 

 

“What are you doing on the floor? C’mon, we’re gonna be late for stats class, stop messing around.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Eren grabbed the shirt thrown at him and threw it on along with the black pair of joggers he found half tucked under his bed. They didn’t smell horrible. Sighing on his way into the bathroom, ignoring his friends annoyed yelling at how slow he was, Eren sprayed on whatever body spray he found. That ‘ought to cover up any old clothing smell. A quick pee and shot of mouthwash later, he was out of the bathroom and in his shoes in less than a minute. 

 

That nightmare was nothing new. He saw that day over and over almost every night as a kid for almost three whole years after the accident. Yes, it still made him sad and upset, but it had just become part of his routine. Luckily, he experienced that nightmare much less now as an adult, but about once a month it would come back and hit him hard. Just like this morning.

 

Shaking his head, Eren looked over to his still panicking friend. ‘We still have 20 minutes Armin, we’ll make it on time!’

 

“On time is basically like being late.”

 

‘Of course it is.’

 

Eren signed as sarcastically as one could before diving into a baggy bright yellow hoodie with black bold lettering reading ‘Daydreamer’. Not even bothering trying to tame his wild hair, he shrugged on his backpack and nodded over to Armin who let out a relieved sigh before trailing out the door after Eren. On their way down to the first floor, Armin threw a muffin at his friend, receiving a grateful smile in return. Rolling his eyes with a smile, Armin said, “Well if I didn’t, you’d probably just starve.”

 

Eren just let out a silent laugh, no more than a gust of air, and jumped into the passenger seat next to Armin.

 

This was his daily routine. Armin would come pick him up from his one bedroom apartment, they’d go to any classes they had that day, Eren would walk to his job, then either get a ride or walk home. For the most part, that was his every day. The same thing day in and day out, and that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The stability, while boring, was somewhat a learned appreciation ever since that day 8 years ago. Yes, he was someone who loved adventure, hated monotony, but he would gladly take routine if the alternative for him was anything like 8 years ago.

 

A mute orphan at 12 years old. That was what happened if he wished for adventure, for excitement.

 

His classes dragged on, Statistics and Ecology almost boring him to death. Most of his class time was spent doodling and daydreaming about soccer season. It was the reason he’d chosen this college after all. He’d managed a full ride from his soccer scholarship, so he picked a degree at random that at least mildly interested him, psychology, and managed to get the minimum grade required to keep said scholarship. Even though the pre season started next week, it was still such a boring time when he didn’t have soccer.

 

After being dismissed from his second and last class of the day, he made his way off campus, shoving his airpods in his ears as he went. As he walked the 15 minutes to work, he found his thoughts straying.

 

Eren wasn’t necessary unhappy with his life, despite how unfortunate he’d been. There were actually a lot of good things that’d happened since back then. He’d gotten a lot of amazing friends, especially since entering college, he’d gotten his dream scholarship doing what he loved most, had a stable job and the means to pay for his own apartment, and had two friends that he felt were more like family. 

 

Yes, there was so much bad in his life, so many reasons he shouldn’t be happy, but fuck that. He could choose to wallow away in sadness, but instead he chose to find the good things in life, focus on the things that made him happy. So maybe one day, he can truly overcome his own scars and hardships, and be content and happy.

 

Like he said, there was a lot of good in his life, so he wasn’t unhappy, but…

 

Frowning, he focused on the familiar building on his right, pulling out his airpods as he entered the cafe.

 

“Hey Eren!” Waving over at Historia with a polite smile, Eren made his way out back, putting his backpack and coat in his locker while pulling out his dark green apron. Sighing as he wrapped the apron ties around his waist, he shoved a few pens in the apron pockets before finally making his way out front. 

 

Looking around, it seemed like the usual day. A few customers here and there, lounging in the chairs or couches by the unlit fireplace or working away at the tables by the windows. One or two even up at the barstools by the front bar. He caught the gaze of each of his coworkers, a silent acknowledgment of his presence. Historia was up running the cash register, Ymir behind her making up the orders, Marco working on pastries, and Sasha bussing tables. It was a small, local cafe, but it was one of Eren’s favorite places to be, either on the clock or off.

 

Walking up to the bar, he stepped in behind Historia and gently tapped her shoulder, his now usual way of letting his coworkers know he was right there. Turning around, Historia spared him her usual serene smile. “Ah Eren! That time already?”

 

Nodding, smiling at the kind girl, he stood aside to let her pass, taking up her spot at the register. 

 

“It’s been pretty slow today, so you should have an easy time doing cash up tonight. Oh! And I brought that book for you if you still wanted to borrow it. I’ll just put it in your locker?”

 

Nodding, he gave her an appreciative smile and signed a quick, ‘Thank you!’. 

 

“No problem! I’ll see you later!”

 

Waving goodbye, Eren assumed his position at the register. He didn’t usually work the front, with him being mute and all, and he only did so when he worked with Ymir. She’d been banned from running register after the third time she’d almost gotten into a physical fight with a customer. Apparently a mute is the better alternative than Ymir. Instead, his interactions with customers consisted mostly of nodding, shaking his head, and politely smiling. 

 

It worked okay.

 

Three hours later found him bored out of his mind. Historia wasn’t kidding when she said it was a slow day. Right after he’d started his shift, it was as if all the customers left, leaving and almost empty, silent cafe with light jazz playing over the speakers. So instead of the steady hum of quiet conversations and the rhythmic tapping of fingers dancing across keys, he got to listen to Ymir’s one way rant about her classmates. Great.

 

It was truly a sad day when he visibly perked up at the sound of the bell above the door. The only had an hour until closing, 5pm already being later than most cafes were open, so they only usually got one or two stragglers just getting out of class who needed a quick fix of caffine. Looking up, smiling at the man who walked through the door, he almost found himself frowning. It wasn’t like the man himself was that strange, he just looked very out of place. Most of the crowd that came in were high school or college students, mostly ones that gave off a hipster vibe. This man most certainly met neither of those criteria.

 

Maybe being in his late 20s, early 30s, the black haired man wore a clean white button down with a black jacket that looked like it was ironed. His dress shoes and slacks accompanying them well. The clothing was all tied together with some napkin looking cloth puffed up by his neck, a messenger bag slung on one shoulder. 

 

The man was all business, and no hipster at all.

 

Hiding any shock, as he had learned to do with working in any customer service job, he kept on his polite smile as the man made his way up to Eren. Actually, now that he was closer, then man looked… constipated or something. Maybe he was just having a bad day?

 

Not looking up at the menu, the man just glared at him for a silent minute while Eren internally panicked. He couldn’t even break the awkward silence!

 

“Black green tea.”

 

Right. Who came into a cafe at 4pm to order a black green tea? Oh well, that wasn’t any of his business. Nodding, he punched it into the register as it displayed the total to the man. He wasn’t told a size, so he just went for the medium and hoped it was good. After silently being handed a twenty, and silently handing back the change, Eren turned around to start brewing the tea. Ymir had left for the day an hour ago since they only really needed two people to close down the cafe, leaving just him and Marco. 

 

As the tea brewed, the silence stretched on. It was something Eren had grown accustomed to, something he didn’t really mind anymore. But for some reason, the air felt kinda tense with this man. It was strange. And awkward.

 

The tea finishing, Eren put a lid on it and turned around, holding the paper cup out to the man who just seemed to glare at him in return. Did he do something wrong? The man, taking his cup, instead of leaving like Eren thought he would, took a seat right at the bar. Oh nice. 

 

The oddly thick air stayed for the next few minutes, Eren fidgeting at the cash register while the man silently drank his tea while browsing his phone. Well, it was at least slightly better now that he was looking at his phone rather than glaring whatever caught his eye. 

 

This went on for another twenty minutes until finally, the man apparently finished his tea. Standing, the man gestured with the cup in his hand. “You got a trash can back there?” 

 

Nodding, Eren grabbed the cup from him, throwing it away beneath the counter. He looked back up at the man and gave him another polite smile, in return receiving a lazy wave as he turned towards the exit. “Thanks for the tea.” And with those parting words, the bell chimed behind the closing door.

 

What a strange guy.

 

Looking up at the clock, it was only a few minutes until 5pm, so he decided to start cash up. Shrugging off the strange man, he pulled the cash drawer and printed off the receipts for the day. He’d gotten plenty of odd customers in his time working there, and that man was of no means the strangest. By the time he was walking out of the door that night, he’d all but forgotten about his meeting with the strange business looking man.

 

But it was these ordinary days, the unassuming ones that would be the flap of the butterfly’s wings. It was such a small thing, a mere 20 minute meeting, but it would cause a much larger tornado down the road.

 

Not that Eren knew that now. No, you never knew until it was too late, and you were already caught in the tornado’s path.

 

* * *

 

“Eren wake up! You start your new psychology class today!”

 

Rolling over, he shielded his eyes from the sudden onslaught of light that poured in from his hastily opened curtains. Well, Armin was here.

 

He felt something hit his bed, probably clothes thrown at him by his blonde friend. “You’re going to be late for your first class. It’s literally a class about your major, you can’t be late to it!”

 

Resigning himself, Eren forced himself up, blearily rubbing at his eyes as he let out a silent yawn. Looking over at the open window, he saw a monarch butterfly fly by, the sunlight lighting up the small park down below outside his window. Another day.

 

Following the same routine as any other day, Eren found himself on his way into class with only a minute to spare. He’d been in this building before, it holding all of his psych classes he’d taken, so he knew right where to go on the second floor, taking a set in the second row where there was one of the only empty seats. Wanting to make a good impression with the professor at least on the first day, he pulled out a blank notebook and pencil from his bag, planning on making himself look busy while just doodling.

 

Actually, he was pretty sure this class was being taught by the newly hired psychology professor. What was his name again? Professor Alexander? Ackles? Aggison? Definitely something with an A.

 

As he ran through name in his head, his thought were suddenly brought to a halt when a man, dressed in a white button down and black jacket walked in, the same glare adorning the man’s face as when he’d last seen him. 

 

“Good morning. I’m Professor Ackerman, welcome to Experimental Psychology.”

 

Of course, the weird man from the cafe last night just had to be his new psych professor.


End file.
